Saturday, July 20, 2013

Kink of the Week: Flogging

Kink of the Week

 

So…have you been flogged, or flogged someone else? What do you think of it?
Is it an actual kink of yours – do you need it, want it, crave it? – or just something that you enjoy when it happens?
Is it used a a precursor to other kinds of play – a warm-up? Or is it an activity you enjoy in and of itself?
Are there certain types of floggers that you love (or love to hate?) A certain place to be flogged on your body, or a certain method that you like to flog someone?
What is it about flogging that “gets” you – or doesn’t?

Flogging is the way I popped my BDSM cherry. Sure I had been spanked and what not before but as far as what I felt to be actual D/s play or scening, flogging was it for me. This was with Sir Phryxus, and not long later with Mistress Fenreya at my first bondage club night.

I learned that I enjoy a steady, thumpy flogger with some weight to it. I enjoy being flogged on my upper back but really like to be flogged on my ass and thighs and in between.

When I am flogging, I tend to vary the impact between a variety of toys and floggers from a soft fuzzy flogger to a stingy paddle to a thumpy flogger to my hand and so on. This way I can spread the sensations out.

Flogging is one of mine and Sir's most participated fetishes and because of this we have more floggers than any other toys.

 Above is a flogger Sir Phryxus made one evening with strips of old leather he had laying in the shop.
ToolWorks Chicago Inc. floggers for Sir Phryxus and myself
My custom made Pink and Purple Loliflog

Thursday, July 4, 2013

Kink of the Week: Marks

 
The Kink of the Week

This week we are talking about marks – specifically the marks left on your body – or the body of one you have been playing with – after you have been playing.

how do you feel about getting or giving marks? Do you treasure them, or can you take or leave them? Are the marks you get (or give) part of your kink, and have some deeper meaning, or just an outcome of what you do?

Or perhaps marks are something to be avoided or hidden, or that cause embarrassment. Or maybe you just don’t like them.

Do you consider yourself a “marks fetishist”?  Do you desire them, negotiate for scenes that will cause them, or are maybe even feel disappointed if you don’t get (or give) them? Are getting or causing marks, or the sight of marks on your body or the body of the person you play with, arousing to you?

Are marks sexy? Are they a badge of honor? Do you poke at them, sigh over them, look at them in the mirror, maybe even take pictures of them?

What about those of you with multiple relationships or play partners? Does that affect whether you give or get marks, or how, when or where?

Marks, for me, are fun, but are by no means "the point" of our play nor am I a marks fetishist. I can take em or leave em when it comes to play. When a submissive asks me for marks, I am always cautious and make sure they are sure and on placement - do they have to go to work? what sort of clothes will they be wearing after this? will they be going to a tanning bed in the near future? etc.

As for marking me and being poly. Our rule is that my husband can mark me as territory - usually a bite or hickey on the neck or breasts. Only a few of my past partners have been able to to do the same due to my desires or his.

As for marking people in other ways
Sir Phryxus loves the look of rope marks and I find them appealing as well:

before anyone gets up in arms (haha punny)
those red marks are not blood blisters, they were there prior to tying

harder to see this one sadly
And then there are the kinds of marks left by toys like a cupping set


And then there are marks left by knives like those mentioned in a previous KOTW post on Knife Play

Marks can be a lot of fun and I recommend playing around with it as long as you're sure of placement and who do you want to be able to see them?

Thursday, June 27, 2013

Censorship Sucks

As many of you may know, Blogger has recently sent out a message to it's bloggers with adult content:

You are receiving this message because you are the admin of a blog hosted on Blogger which is identified to have Adult content.
Please be advised that on June 30th 2013, we will be updating our Content Policy to strictly prohibit the monetization of Adult content on Blogger. After June 30th 2013, we will be enforcing this policy and will remove blogs which are adult in nature and are displaying advertisements to adult websites.
If your adult blog currently has advertisements which are adult in nature, you should remove them as soon as possible as to avoid any potential Terms of Service violation and/or content removals.
Sincerely, 
The Blogger Team

In response, I have removed my ads to my affiliate programs...as you can see.
If I was in an affiliate program with you, I am sorry that your ad is removed, please send your aggravated remarks to Blogger/Google.

I know that I have options.
I could make House Phryxus a website, sadly the domain name House Phryxus .com is owned by my ex-girlfriend and I seriously doubt she'd give it back to me since we haven't spoken in over a month.
Also, that is a huge endeavor that is not free.

Another option is to move to a kink-friendly blog source that allows ads. Theses are few and far between and require a huge overhaul of the blog. I'm not saying the house blog isn't worth it but I currently do not have the time nor does any other member of House. If you want to volunteer your time for this, let me know, we will work something out in floggings.

My response to all of this, for now, is to simply take down the ads and keep writing. I hope you will keep reading. This does change my content in that I will no longer be doing free reviews for companies that require there be an ad for their company on my blog to send me a toy or book. I understand where they are coming from but can sadly not comply.  Other than that, there will be no other content changes.

Hope that this all works out in the end...

xoxo
Lady Phryxus

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Northern Exposure Pt. 4: Leather and Fisting Vaginas

Saturday of Northern Exposure, I had to miss the first two class segments because I had work but when I got off I was excited to rejoin the community for more fun. All work and no play makes Lady Phryxus a dull leather girl. 


The first class I went to was Leathergirl by Mare. I have spent the last few months learning more about the Leather lifestyle and community so this was a class I had been looking forward to. I wasn't sure where I fit in this community but Leathergirl seemed a good combination of little girl and Leather Woman that I was willing to give it a shot.

Mare explained that to be a girl of Leather, certain attributes like honesty, integrity, and service were required. She also explained that having a vagina was not a requirement - only being a girl in your heart.
Midori, a kink expert and woman I greatly admire, was in the class with us and asked a pertinent question, "If a girl skips through the woods alone, is she still a girl?" She also asked Mare to explain what a girl was as if Midori was an alien and didn't know the difference between a boy and a girl. I'm not sure any of us were prepare to answer that question and it left us all pondering, if a girl wasn't just a young woman with a vagina, and this included boys and men who identified as girls,

Another point Mare made in the class was in regards to the term girl of Leather or Leather girl. The G in girl is always lower case. This, in the BDSM community usually denotes submission and gives the suggestion that all Leathergirls are submissive. However, the groups of Leathergirls such as the Seattle girls of Leather do not have submission as part of the guidelines, only service. In the class, we all agreed that service does not mean submission.

I left the class with so many idea running in my head and questioning - am I a Leathergirl?

Fisting with Big Bad Jim

For those of you who keep up with my FetLife account, you might have seen the announcement not so long ago that Sir is now one knuckle away from rewarding me with my red hankie for fisting. We are sadly, still stuck on that knuckle and cannot seem to move past that.

Jim's class was not only about the basics of Fisting but also to drive home the fact that it's not all about the fist! If you can only fit three fingers, great! If you can go up to your elbow...wow...but yea, great! Women are all different and not all women can take a whole fist. So long as everyone is having fun, she is filled, and there are orgasms going on, then Jim would say it was a successful fisting.

I was able to get a few questions answered - such as if the bottom part of the opening, the cartilage part, is supposed to stretch, but mine hurts - like pinching - what does that mean? I was told that this pinching feeling could be the cartilage stretching and to just go as far as I can, until I feel pain then hold back and try and work around it...and, as always, use more lube!


Northern Exposure Pt. 3: Beating Lil Bois in the Dungeon

The dungeon parties at Northern Exposure were part of the NE experience that I was looking forward to the most.

I had heard that it was the best dungeon of the year! That the equipment, scenes, and toys used were the very best and that nothing in Alaska could compare...I heard right ^_^

I arrived early because Sir had to deliver sound equipment. Watching a dungeon go up is always interesting to me as the construction tends to never looks like the results. It doesn't matter how simple a St. Andrews Cross or a leather spanking bench look in the glare of fluorescent lighting...in the darkness of the dungeon lights, they are fearful furnishings.

The first scare was a legitimate one - there was no music available. Something had happened to the thumb drives that had the dungeon music on them that corrupted the files and caused horrible high pitched noises to emanate from the speakers. I gave Sir and Wolfy a call "bring your cds."
Just goes to show even big events can have the same issues that smaller events have - Sir and I have come across this issue and similar ones before when having events in TN.
Between our cd collection and RubberDog's iPod, the minor music issue was resolved and On With The Show!

The dungeon was separated off into three spaces - a large dungeon area with crosses, benches, horses, wax and needle play, a curtained off stage area for photography, and a smaller alcove that was dubbed the 'sex room.' A smaller, well lit area for a lounge where auction items were displayed along with food and water. Another, medium size room that held suspension frames and a table for electrical play. On the whole, we had a lil bit of everything.

I began my night with big ideas - I was going to give everything a shot and top 3 friends and bottom to Sir by the end of the night...even though I had to work the next morning, even though I had to leave early, even though I was already super tired from running around all day...yea, it didn't happy like that at all, ha.

I was honored to top Wolfy and her friend questboi. Questboi and I know each other mostly as acquaintances who had talked a few times prior. When she asked if I would do a spanking scene with her before she left, I was happy to oblige. Aunty Flanna provided me with a leather slapper and we positioned ourselves at the nearest spanking bench.

I gave her a swift spanking followed by making her count five harsh whacks. Since this was her first time, I figured I'd go light.

This was followed by a scene with Wolfy that I had been looking forward to all evening.
I chained her to a St. Andrews Cross, and proceeded to flog her, only stopping to bite and caress. I can't go into detail or I might ruin something perfect. However, I was complemented by Aunty Flanna, a domme who I respect, who said it was one of the most sensual scenes she had ever seen.

It was an amazing evening. Sadly, I had to leave relatively early as I had work the next morning.


Sunday, June 23, 2013

What are Your Sleeping Arrangements?

The Submissive Guide Journal Prompts asked
What are your sleeping arrangements?

The Kama Sutra of Sleeping Couples by Dorothy Tan

The prompts asked in respect to Owner/possession and if the sub or slave sleeps elsewhere than with their owner. While I will answer that, I also wanted to write about this prompt because I'm asked about it a lot in respect to my poly relationship.

I sleep with my husband, Sir Phryxus, who is my Dom.
Part of our polyamory perimeters (rules) is that we do not spend nights apart. This is not to suggest other poly couples should adopt these rules, it is only to express how we do things.

As part of this rule of not sleeping apart, if Wolfy wants to sleep with me, she has to come over to my place and stay the night. Sir and I understand that this could cause some awkwardness since Wolfy and Sir do not have a romantic or sexual relationship.

We have a king size bed - a mandatory buy when we were living with our ex and the three of us were sleeping in the same bed. This allows for everyone to have their own space...and the cat to sleep where he wants to as well.

Our sleeping arrangement is that Sir sleeps between me and the door - a protective act that he has always done since we started sleeping together. I sleep in the middle since I love snuggles and I act as a barrier between two people that don't necessarily want to be close and comfy with each other. Wolfy sleeps on the other end furthest from the door...but between me and the monsters under the bed and in the closet...which is important for a lil girl like me.

If Sir was to find a girlfriend we would either have to figure out another sleeping arrangement or she and Wolfy would have to switch out slumber party nights, lol.

Thursday, June 20, 2013

Northern Exposure Pt 2: Lolita and More Enemas

My Friday morning started with sliding out of bed groggily and taking only a moment to realize that Northern Exposure starts today!


Friday began with the Registration Brunch at Mad Myrnas where Sir, Wolfy and I arrived early to help set up. Techbear was already underway with breakfast, busing his boys around the kitchen and the smell of pancakes and eggs was filling the air and making me sooooo hungry.

The line for registration was long but everyone was seemed both sleepy and so happy to be there. When things went awry with a few people (name tags lost or names not on the registration list) I came up with a catch phrase I continued to use the rest of the weekend, "We may not be the MOST organized group, but we're FUN!" Everyone laughed, agreed and carried on.

It was in the registration line that I met one of my personal kink heros, Lee Harrington!
Lee is the first person who explained Age Play to me, through his writings online and his books, in a way that I didn't feel like the freak that many of the people around me were acting like I was. He gave me the terminology and the words of wisdom I needed when I was trying to find my Little. It doesn't hurt that he is so knowledgeable of the kink community in general including rope work, which is why he was at NE!

Northern Exposure presenter Lee Harrington
Lee came through my registration line with his very good friend, a local, AKButterfly, who is happily one of my friends too. I was talking to her, so glad to see her there after not meeting up in a couple of months, when I turned to collect the next person's waiver and I.D.
It was Lee Harrington and I just knew my face was bright red as I tried to act nonchalant in marking him on my list. I don't hide my emotions well.
My lil sis, Rika Phryxus aka Devious Kitty, bounced over to hug Lee and introduce me to him. They have been friends for some time (since before Lee's transition from Bridgett) and Rika had been looking forward to seeing him since the winter intensive he taught at last December.
As I smiled and shook his hand and tried to think of something smart to say, I made it a point to have him sign SOMETHING before the weekend was through.

Registration was a quick event to make sure everyone was signed up, had a name badge (or was having one made for them), and the presenters were introduced.

Slave Elizabeth did the opening speech about Northern Exposure G4 - Going Forth. It was heartfelt and inspiring. She wanted us all to have a fire lit under our ass to do the things we've always wanted to do or even things we weren't sure of. I took the words to heart and was ready to live in acceptance and enjoy what experiences may come.

Then the real fun began...we went to the event location and classes started!

Dolling Up Your Lolita

Lolita Fashion has been a part of my Age Play for about a year now. When I heard that there would be a class on Lolita I was giddy with anticipation!

Master Charles and Slave Allegra created this class not only to show how Japanese Lolita Fashion can be used in play but to also touch on the concept of a Master choosing clothing for his slave...and for Allegra to play dress up in front of a group of people.

I was happy to see a pretty large spectrum of Lolita fashion including Sweet, Classic, and Goth Lolita. I was also able to ask the questions that had been with me about my own Lolita Age Play combo. Funnily enough, each question I asked, Allegra would say something along the lines of "I was just about to get to that" followed by a giggle. We both seemed to be on the same page.

The class was also validating for me as I have run into many who love Lolita Fashion but disdain my use of it in Age Play. I've even been told "Lolita was not made for kink." My response, "neither were shoes but they are one of the most popular fetishes out there."
To see someone openly demonstrate Lolita combining with her kink made me beam with happiness!

I left the class, missing my dolly and wanting to go out and put together adorable Lolita outfits of my own!

Enemas for Fun and Torment

When I heard my friend Deepfist would be presenting a class on enemas at NE, I was jumping up and down with excitement! Not only was this a person who is knowledgeable but also someone I have already learned so much from just in conversations outside of an event setting.

The enema class was informative and super fun to discuss the many torturous uses of enemas. The idea of a enema bottom taking all that they can when it comes to both enema liquid as well as the multitude of sizes of nozzles was both terrifying and intriguing.

I learned about how to help the water along, how enemas lend well to roleplay, that there was an enema conference called E-Fest, and that as someone who is not much of a masochist...I certainly don't want most of the equipment Deepfist shared used on me.

The classes was rounded up to Deepfist giving an enema to his demo bottoms DarkSuccubis and AKBug. As someone who has only ever given herself an enema, the class helped me out a lot to figure out how to properly give an enema to myself and others.


My first NE Dungeon Party where in I give a bad boy spankings and am complemented for a most sensual scene coming soon...


Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Northern Exposure Part 1: Potlucks and Enemas

Northern Exposure is a week long, kick ass kink flavored event full of education, parties, meals, shows and vendors! All hosted in a private venue for only 130 Alaskans. More than 30 classes and workshops are be taught by educators from all over North America.

Two time Northern Exposure People’s Choice Award winner, Big Bad Jim, says this about Northern Exposure

"Northern Exposure is a weekend where you get to be you. You don't have to hide behind the persona you show to the ‘nilla world. You can dress in your favorite outfits, talk as you want and be accepted. You will get to meet like-minded people. You will get to know people from outside Alaska who come to share their experiences. You will hopefully connect with many people and form strong bonds with these people because you shared in this experience.
Oh yeah, and there's food too."

I have been looking forward to Northern Exposure for months! I had heard about the events and classes, crazy educators and vendors, dungeon and lack of sleep from all of my friends and I just knew this event was going to be the 1 thing I would most certainly do in 2013.

When the class schedule was posted, I made a list of where I was going, where Sir was going, where Wolfy was going...not that we stuck to it at all, but I was so excited and I wanted to see EVERYTHING! I've been trying to split myself into multiples of me this last weekend just to catch a glimpse of some other classes I wanted to attend or to see other scenes in the dungeon or to lend multiple hands with other volunteers. Turns out that mitosis is for cells and not people.

RubberDog and his Pup at The Raven
The weekend event started off on Thursday with a Presenter's Pot Luck at The Raven!

Presenters, attendees, volunteers, and people who just wanted to glimpse at what Northern Exposure was all about (even if they weren't planning to attend) all piled in with a dish and a smile.

This was the first time I had a chance to see a few of these presenters live and in person, some of them I even got to touch! * gasp! *

The best part...well, it's a funny story that I feel is best told by Master Todd and Slave Elizabeth, the Southwest Master and Slave of 2013. I was told about a month prior to this event to bake molasses cookies for Slave Elizabeth...well, I lost track of time and it seems that the local grocery stores do not carry molasses cookies, so I grabbed a bottle of Brer Rabbit Full Flavor Molasses and hoped it would make due.

I handed the bottle to Fox Finder, head of Fox Finder Productions and one of the two people who put together and run Northern Exposure (the other being Sarha, IMsL 2013). A malicious grin formed on his face as he thanked me and went to collect the microphone. He asked Master Todd and Slave Elizabeth to step forward and presented her with this bottle of Molasses, inviting everyone present to please come and ask her about it as an ice breaker. Elizabeth was not happy even as I bounced for joy, because I knew what that molasses was meant to do...it was a sadistic reminder.

I happily bounced up to the two of them, introduced myself and said proudly that I was the one who had bought the molasses for her. Elizabeth shook her head with a smile and said, "Fuck you very much!"

The Molasses and Milk Enema

The story goes (and if you get the chance to ask them, please do because Elizabeth tells this story so much better than me) that Elizabeth, who works in hospice, overheard that a Milk and Molasses Enema was very good for cleansing the system and smelled like cookies coming out!

Well, who doesn't want an enema that smells like cookies?

So Elizabeth went home to Todd and they gave it a shot. 1 part milk to 1 part molasses heated to body temperature and Todd gave her the enema in their bedroom. Not only was there a problem with the tubing coming loose and spraying them and the carpet with milk and molasses but...

Milk and Molasses Enemas are painful. Elizabeth described the pain with cramps, crying, moaning and sobbing until she could take no more and ran to the bathroom...unable to hold the enema in...spraying the carpet as well.

She matter-of-factly told me that it did NOT smell like cookies. It smelled like milk and sugar and death...and they could not get the smell out of the carpet. The carpet was only just recently changed in that room.

Elizabeth also informed me that a Milk and Molasses Enemas would not be wished on enemies unless you certainly wanted them to suffer before death. This set into motion a series of discussions of how to lure an enemy into receiving an enema from me...we're still working on it ^_~

With a start of the event like this...I just knew this event was going to be a blast!

(part 2 in which there are Lolitas and MORE ENEMAS coming soon)

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Kink of the Week: Electrical Play

Kink of the Week

So what is your viewpoint on electricity as a kinky toy? Do you play with it?  If so, how do you play with it? (Inquiring minds – or at least this inquiring mind – wants to know, being an electricity virgin.)

Here are a few of the more “common” types of electrical play. Have you ever played with any of them? Are there others that you enjoy that aren’t listed?


  • Violet Wands
  • Tens Units
  • Cattle Prods/Tasers
  • Bug Zappers


Have you experienced electrical play yourself? Did you enjoy it? Do you find it painful, erotic, irritating – electricfying? ;-)

If you play with electricity as a Top or bottom, what draws you to it?

If you had asked me a month ago would I ever be into Electrical Play, I would have said NO.
I don't like the feel of it. It's not that its painful, for a flogging or paddling is so much more painful to me and I enjoy them. I simple don't like the feel of it. It doesn't turn me on...or didn't.

A friend of mine recently lent Sir Phryxus his Violet Wand kit, complete with several attachments. I was not pleased. I thought, "oh no, now Sir will want to use it on me..."

Instead of my dread being made real (well, I suppose it was as had to experience being electrified a couple of times in order to remind myself how it felt) something awesome happened. I was able to see it used on other submissives and to eventually use it at as Top.

How fun to watch a body squirm as the scent of ozone filled the air and the arch of electricity lurched from wand tip to skin and raised hairs and chill-bumps. It was so exciting!

I became an Electrical Play Top. My first task - zap my girlfriend Wolfy's vagina of course! ^_^

I also was pleased to watch as Devious Kitty and Wolfy proceeded to have an electrical slap fight in the middle of the living room, aiming for tender areas like nipples. If you haven't seen two girls electrical slap fight, grab a violet wand with the attachment that makes the wearer the electrical conduit and give this a shot!

At Northern Exposure, Wolfy experienced electrical play on a broader scale in the class Stun Gun Fun with Eibon. She was given a taser for her efforts in the class! Oh how I have had fun with that this weekend!

I also learned how just because someone can be electrified in one place and handle it like a champ, taking that same tool at the same strength to another part of the body (oh, say, tits or ass or pussy) and they squirm and squeal and turn many shades of red (not gray). It is a beautiful thing!



 

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Kink of the Week: Knife Play

Kink of the Week
Have you ever played with knives? Do you want to? Does the sight of a knife’s sharp edge excite you, make you afraid, do both? What about the feel of a knife?
Does a knife at your throat (or other body parts), or does holding a knife to someone’s throat (or other body parts) make you hot or turn you cold? Is it fear play for you or just sensation play?

Sir Phryxus loves knife play! The above picture is a knife play scene with him where he slit my fishnets to shreds and peeled the remainder off of me at a play party hosted by the Fox Den.

Knives have never been a huge kink of mine but I love looking at the pretty knives available at fairs and festivals and pawn shops, etc. Sir has a rather large collection of knives as well that he is very happy with.

One of the hottest eroticas I ever read was on knife play that involved a Dom coming home to his sub sleeping with the window open. He scared her into waking up with a knife at her throat then used the handle of the knife to fuck her. Read that story years ago and it still turns me on to think of it.

Sir uses knife play as a lead up to blood play (where he uses sterile blades) most of the time. He normally uses a large knife for show, to rile the submissive up then run across her skin to train her not to squirm at the feel of cold metal on her heated skin. After he feels she's ready...or terrified enough...he then switches to the sterile scalpel blades fresh from their packaging. (I am aware that not all knife play involves blood play, this was simply his experiences with it).
These cuts are on our ex which are also a reminder to those who are getting cut - listen to your knife/blood play top, when enough is enough...its enough AND don't pick at the scabs and use salve or neosporin unless you want scars...


Monday, June 10, 2013

How am I doing?

I've been asked a lot lately, "How are you doing?"
I thought I would take the opportunity to answer now that I've had some time to think about it and about what to say without stirring the cauldron of drama and naming names maliciously.

Being hurt by someone I was once friends with is never easy nor is it ever taken lightly. Being made to question my own partnerships, my own personal image as to whether or not I am sexually attractive, and having my self esteem crushed was even harder to manage. I felt that just as I was able to climb out of that pit I was tripped into another one by a friend who pretended to care - even to the point that on the same day she left me high and dry, she showed concern over my well-being since I had just received news of a family member dying. Looking back on it, it would have been kinder for her to be honest in not giving a damn about me.

Honesty is something to value. Maturity is even better. By maturity, I mean that if a person has a problem or complication they have the gumption to speak to the person they have a problem with and at least give them a heads up that there is indeed a problem. Maturity is not shown by pretending that everything is ok then running away from the situation first chance available.

I've not been entirely sure how to handle the situation as far as the community goes. I made those closest to me, my House, and a few other friends aware of the situation. I knew there would be questions and even backlash.
As we moved in with DeviousKitty (Rika Phryxus) and Smacks Her Ass, and as I focused on work at the local renaissance faire, I tried not to think too much about what had happened or what would be said.

Problems with people in a community, even one as small as ours, can be very difficult to manage.
Not only am I trying not to deal with turmoil from this situation but there are others that my family is trying to navigate around conscientiously.

When knowledge of a woman in the community who has an STI and a friend is now having to get tested because her ex contracted it while cheating on her comes up...it's hard to figure out how to handle that with the delicacy necessary. In the end, I can only make those in my House aware to ensure their health and safety and hope that the community practices the safety and health practices we preach so often online.

It is the same when a known rapist, who sadly, due to how our court system is managed, only received a misdemeanor, is part of the community. As a survivor of an unconvicted rapist, it makes me angry...nauseated that there is one in this community as well as the one I came from. Yet again, however, the most I can do is warn those closest then hope that the community will take care of themselves and each other.

Sadly, it doesn't seem that every community has the desire to care and take care. Many communities are ripped apart over rumors, petty differences, libel, break-ups in relationships, and in some cases out-right lies and disrespect. I've seen it so many times. It is very saddening to me. The Kink and BDSM community world-wide is so small...not to mention smaller factions such as age play and leather. To have them divided when they should stand together in solidarity is, again, sad.

Sir and I and House Phryxus are having fun running a few small events and coffees sporadically. We were asked, before we started, is there anyone we don't want at our events. We said, we don't want anyone that isn't safe (thus the vetting process of making sure that attendees are not convicted rapists or known for harming another person without consent). Outside of the safety precaution, and any age limitations that might be made due to the type of event (TNG groups are 18-39) then everyone is welcome.
I remarked, "Just because I don't like someone personally doesn't mean they cannot attend and hang out with friends. They can go to the events, I just won't be inviting them to my birthday party."

In the end though, to answer your question of How I'm Doing...
I'm ok. I have a husband who is doing his best to take care of me. I have a girlfriend who's chivalry and gallantry over the last 9 or so days would make any girl feel spoiled and happy. I have an amazing lil sis and her Daddy who are the best friends anyone could ask for. I have a support network of those closest to me in the community that I love dearly.
To all the members of House Phryxus
To the Fox Den
To Althena, ShibariPyro, RedWarrior
To Glacier's Edge Pack
Thank you all from the bottom of my heart

Lady Phryxus

Friday, June 7, 2013

Ye Olde Kinky Knights and Wild Wenches

Spending my weekends at the Three Barons' Renaissance Faire in Anchorage (June 1st-2nd, 8th-9th)

Last weekend I spent my time reading tarot cards, watching festivities, flirting with men (and a woman) in kilts, and even making an order for a formal chain for my beloved Wolfy. Her formal chaining is coming up!

Wolfy's armor freshly painted
This coming weekend is the Fairy Tale weekend. I'll be traipsing about and reading cards dressed as the adorably seductive Little Red Riding Hood while my knight in dark armor, Wolfy, will be wenching women of the Red Court and harking louder than any other person at the faire.

Also tomorrow is the Community Yard Sale and Lemonade 4 Love stand for Pride week! All the while, we are still preparing for Northern Exposure G4 the following weekend! So much excitement, I can't contain myself!

If you can't make it to the faire or live too far away to attend an in-person tarot reading with me...check out my other site - North Star Attunement and see my Shop for a list of available readings online.

Monday, June 3, 2013

Kink of the Week: Furries

Kink of the Week

since I get to ask the questions, here’s what i REALLY want to know: Is it sexual? How does that work?? ~Jade

I have a few fursonas (personalities) but the one that seems to get the most attention by those who know of it and me (probably because they hardly ever see her) is my cow-sona, Strawberry Milk.

Strawberry Milk is a young cow, not much more than a calf, who is very shy and submissive. I cannot keep this fursona on for long if I can manage it at all if there is anything scary or intimidating around me so I haven't  been in this character that much.
She is a white and pink Holstein with brown hair and tiny horns. Her favorite treat is strawberry jelly filled marshmallows (the Hello Kitty kind). Her favorite activity is being herded around by Sir Phryxus and given a bath by him.

Sir Phryxus loves Strawberry Milk and wishes she would come out to play more but understands why she doesn't. I becomes very sensitive to any sort of teasing or anything that might scare me when I am with her. In a sense, she is the ultimate form of my submission.

Is it sexual?
For me, yes!
For others? maybe not. I don't think it has to be but I also don't think its a bad thing for others to find it sexual either.

Other than the fact that I have sex when I am in my fursona mindset...

Another part of furries I find exciting is the fursuits! They look like HUGE PLUSHIES!
As an age player and a plushiphile I would like nothing more that for one of my loves to become a huge plushie that humps me back!

Other fursonas include a cat, Mimi, and a bunny, Usagi. Mimi is the one that is most often seen.

Friday, May 24, 2013

Chained to Me


I finished up my work for the day to get online and see this picture from my beloved girlfriend, Sinister Wolfy, on FetLife with the caption:

If She Will Have Me

I immediately began blushing and was wonderfully flustered. She and I have been talking for a little while now about what it would mean for her to be chained. This is similar to a collared D/s relationship, however, since Sinister is a Wolf and has the same wildness as the animal, I cannot bear to have her turn into some house pet.

I'll have Wolfy help me write up a little about what it means to have a chained wolf later. For now, I simply wanted ot share my excitement.

If you couldn't guess, I said YES!

Thursday, May 23, 2013

LELO Ogden 2 - review

LELO Oden 2
When my friend Alaskanson offered to let me try out the LELO Oden 2, I was as giddy as a school girl. Lelo makes some of the best toys in the industry and their innovations have been remarked upon by many of my fellow reviewers and friends.

I first saw this to at a BDSM coffee. A friend of mine had the controller and offered it to me to play with. I had no idea what the vibrator looked like but I could see the reactions on his girlfriend's face as a group of us proceeded to play table hockey with the remote control. She was certainly having a tortured yet pleasurable time.

Lelo Toy Shop describes the Oden 2 thus:

Oden™ 2 Design Edition is the upgraded version of the world’s most advanced couples’ ring, designed for men to wear when making love. Like its predecessor, Oden™ 2 features an industry-first SenseMotion™ remote control, allowing you to change vibrations with a tilt of your hand - now with a 3X greater wireless range and a 50% stronger motor for more intense sensations. The fully-waterproof and rechargeable design now also offers the option to play without remote and comes with a new additional closed-ring attachment of flexible silicone, to offer increased presence and stamina for him and intense pleasures for her.


I like the caption "For Men To Wear When Making Love"
and would like to add -
or masturbating or for your favorite dildo or...

Eden Fantasys praises the Oden 2:

The Lelo Oden 2 is a fantastic example of using new technology to bring pleasure and ease of use into the bedroom. The quality of the build, the effectiveness of the toy, and the intuitive controls all combine to make an excellently conceived and constructed toy for couples or individuals to use.

I have to agree with the excellence in the Oden 2 conception and construction.

It's like those boxes expensive jewelry comes it! So pretty!
The Toy Box

The Lelo Oden 2 comes in a beautiful box that holds all of its parts like strange jewelry. The toy comes with two attachments  the vibrator, wireless remote control, manual, lube, warranty, a tool to open the remote for battery change, and a pin with the Insignia logo.

The logo pin is adorable. It makes me think of a pin that one would wear when entering a secret club. I would imagine that it is worn to signal the fact that the wearer has the Oden 2 on them, and only those who have the same toy would recognize. It's like secret exhibitionism.

The sample of lube is the same as the Lelo personal moisturizer I reviewed previously, complete with pictures of my feet for those foot fetishists out there.


The Oden 2 warranty is for 1 year and also has a 10 year quality guarantee. Both it and the manual are little booklets that fit in a space under the toy box and are printed in several languages including English, German, Swedish, Spanish, and Russian. The manual, along with tips and instructions, is also illustrated for ease of use.

The entirety could be kept in the pretty box or be slipped into the included silky bag to keep dark and discreet in a purse or toy drawer.

Such a sleek look and velvety-soft!
The Oden 2

This toy is very basically a vibrating cock-ring. However, there is nothing basic about this high-tech sex gear! The vibrator and ring are made of body-safe silicone that is velvety-smooth to the touch.

Then there is the Sense Motion wireless remote control. The controller with the Oden 2 is what sets it apart from the original Oden.
Erotic Toy Town says of the Oden's remote control use:
No fumbling in the dark when you want a bit more power, just move your remote and enjoy the ride.

The sequel has 3x the wireless range than its predecessor  a great advancement for partners wanting to really tease their significant other.

The vibration alone is quiet, strong and can be felt through the ring marvelously!

Distance and Discretion

When we brought the Oden 2 home, I slide the vibrator in my panties and watched as Sir Phryxus shook the remote, walked around the room with it then promptly left the room, shut the door and tested the range of the wireless remote. He can use it in any room of the apartment and the signal is as strong as it is when he's sitting next to me.

The next test was to see how noticeable it would be if I wore it in public. While it was in my panties, pressed solidly against my clitoris and the remote safely in Sir's pocket, he and I headed to Anchorage to have coffee at Modern Dwellers with local kinksters.

We picked up my girlfriend, Wolfy, after five orgasms on the trip between Wasilla and Anchorage. I hugged her tightly and we let her guess why in the world I would look blushed and flustered. She could not hear the vibrator and if it wasn't for the sanguine look on my face, she would never have guessed I had a vibrator rumbling between my legs.

When Sir told Wolfy what was going on, they proceeded to play a game of catch with the remote that left me squirming. They at least took pity on me and allowed me to leave the vibrator and remote in the car during coffee. By that point I had delightfully suffered six orgasms and not sure how quiet I could be about a seventh.

Lelo Oden 2 on my big purple cock
For Couples' Use

The Oden 2 Insignia Uner Manual states:

Oden 2 is often most enjoyable with the vibrating pleasure point worn upwards to stmulate the clitoris when the woman is on top, or rotated downwards and facing the testicles for extra stimulation...Oden 2 also makes an amazing addition to foreplay.

The first base attachment is an open loop that is meant to be slid around the erect penis with the pleasure point (the vibrator) facing out.

The second base attachment is a closed ring that "offers greater constriction." The manual instructs to stretch the ring around the erect penis and wear above the scrotum or below. Upon closer examination of how far this ring stretches, there is no way possible for us to stretch the ring around both Sir's penis and scrotum without hurting him badly. His balls just won't fit that tiny ring.

We felt that the open ring would better fit an erect penis and scrotum and are still curious why that wasn't recommended instead.

During sex, the vibration is not only strong against the Oden 2 but can also be felt through the penis and into the vagina during penetration. This was a pleasant surprise that was easily replicated with use on a dildo.

Muwahahaha! I have the control!
Sir Phryxus Reviews

My husband, Sir Phryxus, used this toy with me enthusiastically. He too had played with the remote control of our friend's toy and had been talking about using this toy on me for some time now like a threat that we both were salivating over.

We've used cock-rings together before, and have had hit and miss on them as Sir has a decently sized penis with considerable girth. This one was also hit and miss.

While the open styled ring was comfortable enough for Sir to wear the Oden 2 while playing video games and just messing around on the computer, the closed ring was a very different story. The ring is supposed to be large enough to stretch over both penis and scrotum, however, while it was only on Sir's penis, it was tight enough to cut of circulation very quickly.

This toy as a closed cock ring is not for big boys!

He did enjoy the vibrational settings and felt very comfortable wearing it and positioning it during sex.

Is your cock in an open or closed relationship with the Oden 2?
The Oden 2 comes with other attachments available for separate order. These are the Lyla 2, which turns the Oden into a kegel exerciser with an extraction cord, and the Tiana 2 that allows the woman to wear the Oden during sex similarly to the We-Vibe.

Final Thoughts

I give the Oden 2 from Lelo a 4 out of 5 stars! The only negative aspects is that the closed ring isn't stretchy or comfortable enough for Sir to wear without cutting off circulation, however the open ring was comfortable and the toy so fun we couldn't count this one negative thing against them too strongly.

I love this toy as a wear-in-panties discreet vibrator to play with in a secretly exhibitionist sort of way!

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Why Nerds Don't Get Laid 3

For those of you who are not in the know,

There are two other blog posts on here called
and 

And...thanks to my new girlfriend, Sinister Wolfy, I have a third installment for you in this series of posts...

While having sex...my girlfriend, who is asthmatic and a lil worn after a long bout of sex, was gracing me with her talented tongue. Whilst between my legs, I could hear her hot breath against my thighs and sex and the sound...

well it was similar to a very famous character in cinema

Darth Vader Dildo from GespenstsFantasyGear
Well...once this realization hit me, I broke into a fit of giggles that couldn't be consoled or repressed. My poor Wolfy, bewildered, held me until they were done and I told her what had happened...and she also broke into a fit of giggles - I am so happy she didn't take offense. 

So now, Wolfy has taken to catching me off guard, holding her hands over her nose and mouth and mimicking the scene in which Vader says the line, "Luke, I am your father."
At least this post will let you in on our lil joke ^_^

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Kink of the Week: Panties

Kink of the Week


"What’s kinky about panties?” But let me assure you, there is a serious fetish out there for panties! Frilly, lacy, sexy…thongs, boyshorts, bikinis…high-leg, tanga, barely there, seamless…just take a look at your local department store and you’ll see a billion dollar industry devoted to women’s underwear.

Do you have a panty fetish? Do certain panties signify certain things to you/about you? If you are in a D/s relationship, do you have or do you impose rules about the wearing of panties? Are panties even kinky, or just another piece of clothing – sure, they can be sexy, but kinky? Not so much…

While I do not have a panty fetish, panties do play a role in my kinky life.

As Sir Phryxus' sub, there are certain rules in place.
At home, I am usually pretty free to dress, or undress, as I wish. I celebrate topless Tuesday religiously, I usually enter the apartment, strip to my birthday suit and stay that way unless there is a need to put on the simplest of thin sun-dresses.

However, when I do leave the apartment, the rules apply. I dress, sometimes Sir picks out my clothing sometimes I do, and get ready to face the public. Before I head out the door, Sir does a panty check.
I am to wear panties when leaving the apartment. Period.
If I am caught without panties in public, discipline ensues.

Sir enjoys knowing that I am his woman, that there isn't a chance of seeing what is mine. This is why, despite the risque attitude I have online and when speaking to others, pictures bearing nipples or genitalia or the exhibition of them are prohibited.

As for the kinds of panties I own and wear...

Sir likes my black lace thong while Wolfy likes the black and red pair with the lacing in front. I like boyshorts...I know...a lil boring...but hey, they're purple tie-dye!

Monday, May 20, 2013

Outlaw's Gamble Cover Reveal


Slade is a half Native American man with nothing to lose and wants to sell his ranch. Jess is a stubborn, resourceful woman with everything to lose who is determined to buy it. What neither expected was to face was the biggest gamble of their lives.


BLURB: 
Slade Blackclaw was a drifter with no desire to settle down and even less to become a rancher. However, with the death of his father he inherited the ranch that his cherished mother had adored until her death. Being half Native American afforded Slade no luxury in life and he's learned to take what he needs when he has to.
Jess Logan needed to work. Her father, William "Sly Bill" Logan, was growing deeper in gambling debt as each day passed. The last beating left him bedridden for more than a week. Though she hated him for all but selling her off to pay his latest debt, losing her mother at the age of six made Sly Bill her only remaining family and someone she would not turn her back on. She had less than three months to come up with the money owed or she'd have to marry the dirty, foul smelling Otis Grayson in order to settle her father's debt.
After returning to Blueridge, Montana to survey the ranch, Slade decided he wouldn’t stay. Having a permanent home was not in his cards. Taking out an ad at the local saloon, he acquiesces and meets the only person who replied. Little did he know, Jess was nothing like what he expected.
Jess knows she isn't what Slade had hoped for...let alone what he wanted. But with debtors closing in on her father, and very possibly her virginity, Jess will do anything or be anyone for Slade to save her father and, more importantly, herself.

Release is scheduled for late October with a full book tour beginning in November. To keep up on Slade, Jess, Sly Bill and the release of Outlaw’s Gamble, please visit any or all of the following: Website – Blog – Facebook - Twitter

To enter the tour wide giveaway, enter here: a Rafflecopter giveaway

AUTHOR BIO:
Years ago, Kharisma traded in snow, ice and tornadoes for sun, heat, sand and mountains. She now lives in beautiful Arizona with her husband, kids & rescue dogs and goats.
Now, in her eleventh year in Arizona, she is once again braving new terrain and has moved up into the White Mountains.  This will be the first year that she will see freezing temperatures and snow.
Her love for nature and animals is well known and she gets to indulge it in her new home with wolves, coyotes, snakes, and various other creatures as her nearest neighbors. Living in the middle of nowhere is something she wouldn’t change for the world.

Dabbling in writing through Junior High and High School, Kharisma officially got her start writing LGBT, BDSM and erotica. Never one to slow down, she started writing several additional genres including crime, medical, historical and paranormal. Her latest adventure is a dark horror. Her Highlander Mine serial is an unexpected success of which she hopes to have more of.
When you pick up one of her books, she wants you to walk away turned on and inspired! Come take a stroll into Kharisma’s worlds of ecstasy, love, adventure and fear. Her website is here: http://www.kharismarhayne.com/ and you can also find her on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/KharismaRhayne?ref=hl

Saturday, May 18, 2013

Submissive Journal Prompt: Food Play

Submissive Journal Prompt: Food Play
Do you enjoy food play? What would you tell someone interested in the subject?

Food play is actually a common fetish I've run across. It has many levels and variations so that it easily fit into every person's lifestyle, even the muggles or vanilla's who are looking for a light hearted way to shake things up.

Food play can be as simple as teasing a man by sucking seductively on a lollipop or a popsicle. It can also be as elaborate as a human buffet - a person laid out, usually nude or with the slightest of coverings, with food placed all over them for others to eat off of; also a form of objectification. There is also the sort of food play that can involve the use of phallic shaped vegetables used for insertion.

I greatly enjoy food play. I love human buffets, as a buffet and as a person that eats the food off of the person. There is simply something carnal and delicious about combining food and sexuality. Looking into the eyes of my lover as I pick a strawberry off of their flesh and slide my tongue and teeth and lips over it before biting down as I look into their eyes...

Friday, May 17, 2013

Nikki Haze Sexy DJ No Cost Extravaganza!!!


I'm excited to inform you that 9 of the Sexy DJ books are available at NO COST all week!  
Don't miss out on this awesome opportunity to catch up on this steamy, debauched series of shorts. 
Snag them all RIGHT HERE

Reviews Coming Soon!!!!

Available at NO COST May 15th-May19th 


“Enough.” Nikki grabbed the whip from her hand and tossed it aside, pulling Redd forward with her. Indigo’s legs were spread so impossibly wide and Redd watched as Nikki slide her finger into her dripping cunt. She ordered Redd to kneel and finger her ass.

“Good girls,” she mumbled to both of them just as Indigo screamed, her orgasm louder and more terrifying than when she was beaten. It seemed endless and Nikki ordered her to keep her fingers in Indigo’s ass as she ran her hands over the hot red marks. Redd’s cunt prickled at the thought of that edgy feel of an orgasm wracking you with the fresh burn of the whip on your skin. A good beating like this, not the few licks she’d earned earlier. Redd used to crave a good punishment from Nikki. It made her almost pass out until she came again and again form.
Available at NO COST May 15th-May19th


“I’m not nearly done apologizing, baby.” 

“Really?...oh.” Indigo moaned and held onto Redd’s hair as she tongued one of her nipples, pinching the other between her fingers. Redd felt her own naked cunt, slick, sliding up and down Indigo’s belly as she worked her nipples. She could make Grey, back in Ibiza, cum from just this, and she hoped Indigo was the same. There was nothing hotter than being able to cum without any direct stimulation.Indigo bucked wildly underneath Redd, who switched to her other breast biting down hard on her nipple as she felt Indigo go completely liquid beneath her. Her second orgasm was slow and lazy as she moved her hips up and down in the air. She pulled Redd’s lips to her mouth and kissed her as the last rush of her orgasm left her lungs, shooting down Redd’s throat.Redd pouted, she didn’t get to watch that pretty pussy cum for her that time. She was crawling back down the bed. “I need a minute, come here.” She pulled Redd back in her arms and kissed her again. “Why are you so good at getting me off?”

Available at NO COST May 16th and 17th only 


Redd spread her legs wide to allow for fingers in her cunt and ass. Before Grey even lowered her face to Redd’s pussy she’d come again. “I love how you cum for me.” Grey trailed a finger up to length of her sopping wet cunt lips. 

“I love how you make me cum,” she heard Redd say before her lips came down on her cunt, with four hard pulls of her clit, Redd came again, squirting her juices down the back of Grey’s throat. She lapped at her thighs and then kissed her way up her body.


Please take a moment to review the books on Amazon afterwards and let Nikki know what you think!

Get them all RIGHT HERE!

Submissive Journal Prompt: Mono or Poly?

Submissive Journal Prompt:
Do you consider yourself monogamous or polyamorous or some other category which cannot be defined? Is there such a thing as “no preference”? What makes your preference work for you?

I am Polyamorous.

I was drawn to polyamory when my husband and I discussed my bisexuality and desire to explore that beyond our marriage.
When I started reading about and looking into poly lifestyle and poly relationships, one of the key factors that helped me was the pagan community that was poly.



Oberon Zell-Ravenheart and the Ravenheart clan actually titled this open style of relationship polyamory, drawing from terms in Greek and Latin to create a term that is now used everywhere from FetLife to Cosmo.

My favorite book on the subject is Raven Kaldera's Pagan Polyamory. It is the first book I read on the subject and one that helped me with the configuration and conflicts that are seen in poly.





My relationship is a simple one as far as poly goes, but complicated if compared to a basic monogamous relationship.

I am married to my husband, Sir Phryxus. We started out with polyamorous relationships not long after we were married. We started out with closed, trinogamous (three people in a closed, committed relationship) and worked that way for 2 years.
Recently, after a breakup, we decided to open our relationship up to date separately.

I am now dating my girlfriend, SinisterWolfy. Her and I have an understanding that we are currently building our relationship right now but if at some point we have an interest in playing with or seeing another person, we would simply sit down and discuss it.

Sir Phryxus is enjoying dating and very much in his element of not jumping into another relationship too soon.

Thursday, May 16, 2013

Upcoming Events

Wow House Phryxus is a bunch of busy moths the next few weeks!

The 40 Below Munch

Tuesday, May 21, 2013 · 7:00 PM – 9:00 PM
Pizza Man
16410 Alaska 1, Eagle River, AK 99577

Come join the 40 Below community at our very first munch!
This munch event is NOT a Paid Munch so feel free to come in and have a slice with friends!
Bring a valid I.D. and please remember that 40 Below munches are for Alaskan Kinksters between the ages of 18 and 39
Don't know what 40 Below is? Check out our Group on FetLife

Fit To Be Tied Rope Workshop


Tuesday, May 28, 2013 · 7:00 PM – 9:00 PM

Mad Myrna's
530 E 5th Ave, Anchorage, AK 99501

Come out and explore with rope @
Mad Myrna's
in the ball room.
This is a 21+ event, bring a valid picture I.D. to be checked at the door.
This is also a free event! So grab a drink at the bar (even if its soda or water), leave a friendly tip and come and enjoy some rope bondage!
The workshop ends at 9pm but feel free to stick around for free pool and karaoke!
Feel free to bring books on rope and some rope to practice with.

Community Yard Sale


Saturday, June 08, 2013 ·10:00 AM – 5:00 PM

Hampstead Heath Complex
Follow the signs near Old Seward and Sylvan

This year, the Northern Exposure Community Yard Sale is teaming up with Lemonade for Love for the LGBT community.
We will have a stand alongside our yard sale so come out, rummage, and have a glass of refreshing lemonade.
All loot not sold during the yard sale will be donated!
Want to contribute some Loot?
Feel free to contact Lady Phryxus for drop off sites in Anchorage and Wasilla.
Look forward to see you all and rummaging with you!

Northern Exposure


Northern Exposure is a week long, kick ass kink flavored event full of education, parties, meals, shows and vendors! All hosted in a private venue for only 130 Alaskans. More than 30 classes and workshops are be taught by educators from all over North America.

Gather Friday morning for a catered registration brunch, wander our kinky vendor market, enjoy two night time parties, midnight snacks, brown bag lunches, and finish the weekend off with the Northern Exposure Wrap-up and Award Dinner Show, plus all of the classes in between!