Monday, March 25, 2013

My Dominant Personality

Submissive Challenge #16

On the Fence by Lucky Cole
This blog hop prompt is one that I feel very strongly about as a switch that both fully submits to my Dom and deeply loves to Dominate others submissives. I am a Switch and I embrace that term.

I haven't been out as a switch for very long. I felt that there was something wrong with me at first. Having both sub and Dom tendencies makes a girl feel a little crazy. I was also afraid that Sir wouldn't accept the Dominant side of me and force me to be submissive no matter what. I also was afraid that having Dom tendencies meant that I wasn't a sub - and I so dearly loved and still love being Sir's sub.

When I came out and told Sir that I think I'm a Switch, he just nodded, said he had an idea that it was so, and started training me. He said some of the best Dom's are Switches or have submitted in the past. He believes that to really understand how a sub feels in a scene, a Dom should have to experience everything they go through. Sir himself has been beaten by every tool and toy he uses on me or other subs. I have seen him submit to one woman and to see a strong man like him submit was the most erotic thing I have ever seen or experienced.

Sir has trained me well. We started slow and my first few scenes as a Dom he monitored me - making sure that both the submissve and myself were safe and comfortable - or as comfortable as anyone can be on a spanking bench being beat with a flogger.

My Dominant Personality as a Submissive
I am a sadist. I love watching a submissive react to pain - whether I'm inflicting it on them or someone else is.  Ironically, as a submissive, I do not handle pain well and prefer to trance out when being beat or hurt.
I also tend to be Dominant when I'm a little (age playing as an 8 year old) and submissive when I'm not regressed.
There is just something so delicious about being little, not worrying about adult problems, and focusing entirely on playing with my toys - especially the human toys.

As a submissive to Sir Phryxus I have found my balance. I submit to Him ONLY. No one else.
To all others, I prefer to be seen as a Dom.
I have met some conflict due to this.
Some old-school BDSM-ers prefer that I choose a side and quit riding the fence.
To that idea I like a t-shirt I saw not long ago - I'm Poly Bi and a Switch - I'm just greedy that way.
I have run into some Dom's who see me submit to Sir and arrogantly believe that they can Top me too. Not only is this wrong but it is also bad manners and I would not recommend acting this way towards anyone.

At one party a male Dom tried to top me without consent from me or Sir. He talked about taking me and torturing me anally. I turned on him with my most cute-yet-wicked smile, fondled by beaded Loliflog and told him sure, that I would love to do him. I proceeded to inform him that I only submitted to one man and that I've broken stronger Doms that him.
Perhaps I should have been nicer but my anger caused the more sarcastic and tactless Dom in me to come out. That particular male Dom has never bothered me again.

I'm not sure if this post was what the members of Submissive Guide were looking for precisely but I still think its a great topic and I enjoyed writing about it from my perspective.


  1. I think it is a fascinating perspective. My Sir is a switch and I have topped him but from a service perspective. It still feels strange to me but I will get there. It is interesting you have embraced your Dom side though and found your path to acceptance and fun.

  2. Thank you for your honesty. I am a very assertive type A Bi female with lots of experience taking the lead but really get turned on being submissive. No one so far has been able to dominate me, I always wind up dominating them. Now I have met someone who might. I am curious about this whole lifestyle and wonder if I can just ask him a bunch of questions about the process since I seem to know what I am doing so far but I really don't and I am afraid I am just going to flip him over and take charge. It is a very new, beginning relationship but it does seem he is very well versed in the life style and knows his stuff. I am just a little lost in general and lost on how to behave.

  3. I like your perspective as well. It is so wonderful that you were able to be trained by your dominant.