Monday, May 6, 2013

Submissive Journal Prompt: Obstacles and Challenges

The Submissive Guide Journal Prompt:
How do you handle obstacles or challenges? Do you find it is the most effective way to handle them in this way?

I thought this journal prompt was appropriate given the not-so-fabulous insanity going on in my life and in my community lately.
Rather than go into the drama, I will skip to how I'm dealing with it.

Advice From Amazing People

My friends, house members, mentors and people in the community I look up to have given me some great advice over the months and years I've known them.

Take a Bath - my little sister, Devious Kitty takes a lot of baths. She has admitted to spending 8 hours in the bath one day. Every time something stresses her out, she is in that bath water, playing with her rubber duck and processing. I decided to give this a try and a lot of thinking is done about my life, House Phryxus, my job, events and more in that small apartment bathtub.

Think before you hit the send button - this is a piece of advice given to International Ms. Leather 2013 Sarha Shaubach and she has been kind enough to spread the word. This piece advice and others like it have kept many a bad and harmfully-worded e-mail from being sent. The sister advice of think before you post is also a good one fore all me.

When offended by another person in the community, play devil's advocate (or find someone else who will). Did they do that maliciously or did they simply not know better because they were new, drinking, or unaware of the situation? I have a few friends who happily play my devil's advocate, and I do it a lot with my House Members when we're discussing a situation wherein someone outside the house has offended someone. Sometimes the situation can be remedied with a kind and informative conversation with the offending person. Sometimes people simply have to agree to disagree and step away from each other. However, the best route is to be factual, level headed, and upfront with integrity.

Things to Remember

Integrity - this is a word I've been reading and hearing a lot lately.
Webster defines integrity as:

 firm adherence to a code of especially moral or artistic values : incorruptibility
: an unimpaired condition : soundness
: the quality or state of being complete or undivided

Sarha gave me a great definition to integrity not long ago that I think everyone can understand and adhere to:

Integrity is making a decision of how you feel and how you will react to something and reacting the same way each time no matter what AND manning up to admit that you're reaction and feelings on it have changed when they do and why (or admitting when you were wrong the first time).
This means that when I say that I don't like people who cheat on their spouses, I can't say its ok for Billy-Joe because he's my best bud but still hold that it's not ok for Joe-Bob because I don't like him. If I do change my mind about cheating then I have to admit that I have changed my views and not lie that I've always believed this new way.

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