My Normal

My Normal, the tale of Dominatrix Natalie, is a really good movie, in my opinion. Sure there are points that might make a member of the BDSM community cringe slightly and go "its not like that, really" but in all it was a good story.

Nicole Laliberte plays lesbian Pro-Dominatrix Natalie who is struggling with finding a balance in her life between her job in the adult-industry, her dreams of becoming a director-producer, and her desire for a loving relationship.

I think Laliberte did an amazing job. Not only is she HOT but she is able to move between that hard bitch expression to the soft, thoughtful and even funny expressions that are needed to transition from Dominatrix Natalie to Normal Natalie.








As far as portraying the BDSM lifestyle and community...the movie doesn't go much further than the professional scene. It does show play sessions between the Dommes and their paying slaves. It doesn't really touch on the scene outside of that, so no D/s lifestyling, no bondage clubs, etc. If that's what you like, then this movie might let you down.

There are some fun play scenes. There's a point where the girls are getting ready and a slave in a Dalmation dog mask is on all fours with a tray on his back as an ignored piece of furniture. There is also a scene when Natalie is smoking a blunt and looks off screen and says "ashtray" and the camera pans out to show a man in a mask who opens his mouth for her to flick ashes in.

Best scene is one that you don't quite understand at the beginning so...
*Spoiler Warning!*
Jim is a client Natalie keeps after she gets a job as an intern on a movie set and takes a break from the Dungeon.
She is his Domme Mistress of sorts and "blackmails" him with video of their sessions at the Dungeon. This leads to financial Domination and a scene outside of his office in which she makes him massage her feet after she's been shoe shopping with his credit card.
At first it feels like she might be doing this without his consent, as the viewer doesn't get much back story. After the foot massage scene they have a friend conversation and he thanks her for the session and gives her an extra tip in his payment.

Now, the movie does cover some of the issues that come along with working in the adult industry including relationships with vanilla lifestylers, drugs, and "growing up".

I say "growing up" because some people in the industry, whether its stripping, Pro-Dom, porn, whatever, there are those who work in the scene who make it clear that one day they will grow up and move on from this life to the "white picket fence" ideal.

Sonia, one of Natalie's co-workers, is one of these types of people. She wants a long-term girlfriend, a baby, a "normal life".
*Spoiler*
She ends up leaving the job and when she comes back into the scene she's pregnant and has the life she has wanted. She even makes one small jibe at Natalie that perhaps she too should 'grow up' and move on as well, despite Natalie's confirmation that she enjoys the life she's living.

The movie does show some drug use, which might irritate some viewers who are stead fast in the Safe, Sane and SOBER motto of the BDSM lifestyle. But, from what I remember, none of the drug use was during a session, so maybe that will make the difference to some viewers.
The drugs in use are marijuana and what I assume is ecstasy. The pot is a key point as character, Ty, is a pot dealer and is the one who jump starts Natalie into writing a screen-play with him and working on her dream of being in the movie industry.

And then there is the relationship drama that, in my opinion, is rampant no matter what lifestyle you belong to. Natalie and Sonia discuss at the beginning of the film that no matter who they date, their girlfriends will not understand or accept that they are Pro-Dommes. Natalie experiences this first hand with Jasmine, her girlfriend who she pics up at the club and falls in love with. Jasmine can't stand that Natalie is a Dominatrix and even has nightmares about it. She tries to get Natalie to leave the BDSM scene by acting like she has her girlfriend's best interest at heart and encouraging her to reach for her dreams to be in the movie industry.
Sadly, this doesn't work out for the very reason that you can't change people no matter how much you love them and want to. Natalie finally gets it across to Jasmine that she likes being a Dominatrix and no matter where she works or what she does, that is part of her.
(This is something I have seen happen again and again when people in the BDSM scene date people who are more vanilla lifestylers. I always recommend kinksters to date other kinksters).

In all, the only thing I had an issue with was Natalie's co-workers, 2 blonde Dommes who are very ditsy. One of them is a Domme-in-training and one scene shows her asking what mummification is and instead of them helping her with the safety of the client in mind the tell her to wrap him in plastic wrap and leave a coupe of holes for air. Little things like that make me cringe so...yea. It was really my only complaint.

I left a lot out of my review such as Natalie's relationship with her sister and mom, her interaction with her Director boss, and more. I just want to say that its on Netflix and you should watch it ^_^

Left in a Jam: Door Jam Cuffs from Babeland

I was very excited about receiving the Sportsheets Door Jam Cuffs as I was hoping to have some simple, easy-to-use restraints that my partners and I could grab and set up without much hassle. While these certainly promised that, I found they were completely unusable due to the fact that once they were set in place at the top of the door they were too high for me to be strapped into.

I received the cuffs from Babeland almost a week after a request for them was made, just as expected. The mailing package was a cardboard box with a return address under Mail Order for discretion, which was appreciated. The cardboard box was actually too large for the product turns out and the packing paper was sparse for the size. This all left it so that when I finally received the package, half of it was crushed. While this did no damage to the product, I would recommend that Babeland opt for smaller packages in the future, just in case.

The Sportsheets Door Jam Cuffs package wasn't exactly discreet itself with a picture of a male and female couple in their underwear with the female in the cuffs. While the depicted couple aren't nude or overtly explicit, the picture certainly isn't discreet.

The package doesn't have much as far as information, only that they are adjustable and fit over or under any door. I had to look on the Babeland website to learn that the materials were fleece, velcro, nylon and plastic. There wasn't a note about phthalates but the plastic did not give off any offensive odor to suggest chemicals.

When we got the cuffs out of the package, they were ready to use. My husband and I both put a cuff on and found the velcro adjusted no matter the wrist size. The fleece cuff was very comfortable and soft enough to prevent chaffing and bruising. We then tugged hard on the nylon strap, as we can be pretty rough on restraints, but no give or damage showed, leaving us both impressed by the material.

My husband set the cuffs over our closet door, so we could use them in the privacy of our bedroom. My initial worry was whether or not the door itself could handle weight bearing on the top of it or any rough play we would decide to do. However, my worries were unfounded as we could use the cuffs there no longer than 5 minutes.

I am only 5 feet tall and my wrists barely make it to the straps at the top of the door. My husband attempted to adjust them but the nylon doesn't stretch or adjust. During the 5 minutes or so that I was restrained to the door my shoulders and arms quickly became uncomfortable. When I began to lose feeling in my hands and fingers I told my husband who immediately helped me out of them.

In the end I could not use the cuffs as they were intended for wrist restraints and being restrained by my ankles at the door does not hold much appeal to me.

After play, I looked at the cuffs with care and maintenance in mind. The plastic easily comes out of the nylon loop for washing and the nylon strap and attached metal D-ring can be wiped off with a damp rag if necessary. The fleece and velcro, however, do not lend themselves to easy cleaning. Wiping the fleece down might mat the furry fabric and velcro can be damaged with cleaning. In the end these would be difficult to clean or sanitize.

The cuffs are fairly small and can be easily tossed into my toy drawer. It would have been nice for them to have some sort of reusable case or bag for storage though.

Overall, despite liking the feel of the cuffs, I am unable to use them due to lack of adjustable strap and am not fond of the lack of being unable to clean them thoroughly.

FTC Statement: The Babeland Door Jam Cuffs were provided to Mimi by Babeland’s affiliate program as a review assignment. Links from Babeland’s Affiliate Program have been used. This has not affected the opinions within the review, and complies with FTC standards.

Door Jam Cuffs are in!

I just received my Door Jam Cuffs from Babeland!
Came in just as I got home from filing my taxes and was a welcome distraction. 

The package was very discreet being from Mail Order BUT it was crushed as the box was way too big for the item inside and there wasn't enough packing filler. I recommend Babeland adopt smaller packages. Heaven forbid you get something fragile in them.

Door Jam Cuffs are made by Sportsheets and include 2 wrist/ankle cuffs attaches to 2 door straps that have plastic posts attached to fit over or under any door. 

Package does not say what any of the materials are made out of. Babeland says they are "Fleece bondage cuffs with Velcro closures attach to sturdy black nylon straps that fit over any door. Short plastic tubes keep the straps in place and won't damage the door." The nylon and plastic don't give off any odor but I'm not sure if they have phthalates in them or not. 

The fleece cuffs are soft but not overly fuzzy so if you don't like that then these are fine but I love fuzz ^_^

Can't wait to use them, I'll let you all know. 

Sex Magick

For those of you who are not aware, I consider myself a type of Pagan. I'm not wiccan but I do participate in magick rites. I wanted to create a brief post about an area of magick I am very interested in and wanted to share.

Sex Magick, especially combined with BDSM is a great way for some people (those who are open to it) to achieve deep self exploration, attain connection with Higher Self and commune with the Divine.
Other terms that are used for this are Erotomancy, Sacred Kink, Quadashti BDSM, Sado-Erotic Ecstasy, Sado-shamanism, and more. I prefer the terms Erotomancy or simply Sex Magick (these, in many practitioner's opinions are not the same thing as one may connotate that BDSM is used while the other may suggest vanilla sex).

The basic idea behind Sex Magick is that Orgasmic Force = Life Force. This includes the achievement of Orgasm and the fluids involved (semen, vaginal fluid and even menstrual blood). Sex Magick practitioners focus this force towards their desired goal through meditation, spell, or the creation of talismans and potions.

Sex Magick can have 3 forms of participation:

Monofocal: Masturbation with the focus on 1 person. There can be one person involved or multiple people involved in helping the one person achieve this...focus. This is a good use of meditation for self exploration, the achievement of a trance or divination.

Dualfocal: The focus here is on 2 people. Many practitioners believe the 2 involved should love each other for this to work, but this love should not be confused with romantic love as 2 people joined in Sex Magick do not have to be romantic partners or significant others. This focus can be on the combining of opposites such as male and female, Dom and sub, Master and slave. The partners do not have to be male and female for this to work as any sexual orientation or gender can participate and use Sex Magick.
Some practitioners suggest that one person involved should focus on the meditative thought or goal while the other focus on pleasuring, but this, in my opinion, is still Monofocal despite the transition from masturbation to intercourse. It is perfectly possible for 2 people to focus on the goal whilst having sex if they had the meditative mindset

Multi or Polyfocal: Here the focus is on a group, but not an orgy. All involved would have to be able to focus on one goal. Some practitioners suggest the use of a group leader to guide the others during the act with chants, orders, etc. This person may or may not be participating in the sexual act.

I have read about Sex Magick being used for various reasons such as creating a gollum or familiar to do the bidding of the two people involved much like 2 people would create a child during sex. This is done by using the creative energy of sex and sexual fluids and directing them towards a goal of creation that is not a child but another being. I've also read about it being used to heal one of the participants. All that Orgasmic Force being sent to 1 body to heal it.

Sex Magick in Ritual can be used to heighten the experience of connecting to the Divine. In the Wiccan Great Rite, the High Priestess acts as the Goddess and the High Priest as the God. By adding Sex Magick to this they can move from joining the Deities together symbolically with Athame (a double-edged knife that represents the phallus) and Chalice (a sacred cup that represents the womb) to actuality with sex between the High Priestess and High Priest.

Resources

Books
Sacred Kink by Lee Harrington
Kink Magic by Taylor Ellwood and Lupa

Sites
Raven Kaldera's site Pagan BDSM
The Arcane Archive has a few articles about Sex Magick and Thelemic Sex Magick
Into the Darkness has a good section about Sex Magick information.

There is also a group called Sex Magick on FetLife for those of you who are on there and want more information.

Formal Review: Onye Gallerie Petite Vibromasseur

This is the review I submitted to GoodVibes and BigTeazeToys

My first impression of the Onye Gallerie Petite was of just how pretty it was. I have seen many toys and vibrators online and in local shops but this is one of the prettiest ones. I love the little purple and yellow flowers with the ink-scroll design. I admit, I have a fondness for the color purple. This toy comes in three designs; purple flowers, a red dragon on a black background, and orange and black butterflies. 

I received the vibe in the mail after winning it in a Valentines Day Contest on SexToyGeek.net. The toy came with a few other goodies such as a Tantus sticker that says 'more orgasms, less work' and some LELO lube. The Onye Petite's packaging is discreet even though it shows the vibe fully. I assume that if a child were to see it they would not be able to tell that it was an "adult toy" but rather some sort of pretty pocket-size pen or lighter. There's nothing that screams 'sex' on the package and even the Big Teaze Toys logo is small and I only found it when I began reading closer to figure out the size battery the toy took. 

The Onye Petite comes with a black carrying case that is very discreet. It fits perfectly among the paraphernalia of my purse or on my nightstand and is equally tiny. Both the toy and its case are not much bigger than a basic lighter and certainly smaller than a cellphone or eyeglasses case. 

While the vibrator is a basic push-button bullet it packs a punch not only in looks but also in sensation. I would give this vibe a 3 out of 5 for noise and a 4 out of 5 for strength of vibration. Even though the Onye Petite just takes a single AAA battery its quite strong. I sat the toy, turned on, on a hard-top table and it rattled around like a jumping bean and made the sound of a small machine gun, much to the amusement of my husband. 

In Use Vaginally:

I recommend only using this vibrator topically; on nipples, clitoris or perineum. Using it internally in the vagina only caused me discomfort. 

Using the vibe solo I was pleased but I did have some issues with how strong the vibration was in my hand as my fingers quickly became numb. My husband was kind enough to take over for me so when my focus was entirely on the vibration on my clit and labia I was very much pleased. I will say I had one of the best clitoral orgasms I've ever had. 

Using the vibe with my knotted anthro dildo was fantastic. I took the knot faster than I ever had before due to being easily worked up with the vibe. I could feel the vibration lightly through the silicone and it added another pleasant sensation to the already amazing feel. 

Using the vibe during sex was amazing. It added a whole new dimension to sex with my husband. I had the longest orgasm I have ever had when using the Onye Petite during intercourse, pressing it against my clitoris and holding it there between our bodies. My husband was also pleased because with all the convulsing I was doing with this he was able to sit still and enjoy watching me. He did feel the vibrations as well but admits they didn't do much for him. 

In Use Anally:

I don't like using my toys anally. I did feel the vibrations around my rectal rim when playing with the Onye Petite solo. It wasn't unpleasant but I didn't really care if I felt it there or not. If you like anal play and all that comes with that, you might want to give it a try, but I wasn't too big on the idea myself. 

Clean Up:

The Onye Petite is waterproof so cleaning it just involves washing it with warm water and a gentle dish soap. I wouldn't recommend scrubbing as that might effect the art on the vibe. Just wash, rinse and store in its little carrying case until next use, which I'm sure won't be too distant in the future. 

Onye Review Pt. 2

If it were not for Onye I wouldn't have experienced my first DP* today...

I used the Onye solo and with my anthro dildo today. I'm very happy my in-laws were not home because I made a hell of a lot of noise.
SirPhryxus helped a lot because I found that if I'm not in the right mindset the vibration in my hand becomes annoying. Once he got me worked up it was no problem for me to hold it and for him to work Kitsu (my fox dildo) into me.

Solo
The onye is wonderful solo. I put it in my panties and wore it for a little while today while I cooked lunch. It wasn't as orgasmic and using it with a dildo or during intercourse but still felt good. Also used it solo to work myself up before using the dildo.

With Dildo
This is a great addition to my knotted Boxie the Fox dildo. Wasn't long before I could knot myself as I was easily worked up and wet.

Today's session was amazing and long. I was quite worn out afterwards and simply laid there while SirPhryxus got a shower started for me to clean up.

Aftercare
The Onye is easily cleaned with a gentle dish soap and warm water. Dried it off and put it in its carrying case ^_^
Loving it.

Gonna write up a formal review tonight and try and post it to the websites tomorrow. I'll post it here as well with some new pics.

xoxo
Lady Phryxus

Switching

So I'm Switching...
I have been a sub since I learned what BDSM is but for the last few months I've been playing around with the concept of being a Switch and letting my Dominant personality come forward.

I wasn't sure of this but I finally asked SirPhryxus to teach me how to be a Domme. He was a little surprised but not very. He agreed and I finally had my first lesson.

Daddy taught me how to use a flogger and a crop. Turns out I'm a natural at the flogger, must have learned more than I thought watching him use them on others.
At one point, I was using it lightly on Daddy to make sure I was doing my rhythm right and he looked up and back at me a little and without hesitating I said very sternly "Get Your Head Down" and whacked him low on the backside. I then stopped, surprised at myself and he laughed at me and said, "I knew you had it in you. Looks like you're getting the hang of being a Bitchy Domme."

That sort of set it in for me. I'm switching to Switch.

I already have an idea of what my Domme persona will be like - think of a bratty spoiled princess with a flogger in hand. Yea, that's me ^_^

Speaking of flogger, my sweet lil brother, Synn, just paid for me to have a custom flogger made by Sensuous Bliss. Its pink and light blue and purple with purple sparkly fur on it like their Mongoose floggers. They make a lot of cute but sinister items like their Bondage Buddy. They're also local and I love giving my business to my local kinksters.