I was Roofied

Sorry, no witty title today. Plain and Simple, I was roofied.

Last night I went to the Silver Fox Inn with my husband and girlfriend to celebrate the number of nice things that have happened to us this month including my girlfriend passing her Roller Derby assessments from Fresh Meat into Rookie and Sir's getting a job that will pay for him to go to school for certification.
I don't remember much but from what I was told we were having a great time, and I had made the statement that I was having a lot of fun because we hadn't been out on a date in so long.

I hadn't been drinking. I did order a Guiness but after a couple of sips I decided on a ginger ale instead with my burger. I didn't think about my ginger ale being behind me while I watched Sir and Pup play pool. It wasn't an alcoholic drink so I figured naively that no one would bother it.
I was wrong.

I started to feel queasy and a little dizzy. At first I wondered if I had somehow eaten something I was allergic to. Then my tongue began to go numb and I felt out-of-it and tired.
It was the blunt honesty that I have with Sir that saved me. I told him how I felt and he recognized the signs immediately from the days he was a bouncer and an EMT.

The rest of this telling is what was relayed to me as I do not remember.
Once in the car Damon checked my eyes and the dilation was off. He then instructed Pup to keep me awake while he ran to the store and then took us home. He carried me up the 3 flights of stairs to our apartment, changed my clothes, and kept to the arduous task of keeping me awake for the next few hours to ensure that I wouldn't fall asleep and either 1. choke on my own vomit or 2. not be able to wake up...

What I do remember after that is waking up on the couch to Sir and Pup watching over me and telling them how tired I was. I honestly thought I had suffered some sort of allergic reaction to food or food poisoning and taken a benadryl and just didn't remember passing out on the couch. I asked Pup how work went and later learned that me asking and continuing a conversation we'd had 6 hours prior scared her badly.

I told Sir how tired I was and after he made me drink some water, he took me to bed. It wasn't until he woke me up because he was holding me so tight it was uncomfortable that I knew something was very wrong.
Finally he told me I had been roofied and I slowly pieced my night back together.
Sir blamed himself. He said as my husband and Dom he should have been more aware of my safety.
I blamed myself, I should have been smart enough to watch my drink.
My dear friend Leeanne pointed out the falacy in these beliefs. Its the fault of asshole who drugged me. I shouldn't HAVE to watch my drink. I shouldn't HAVE to be worried about being drugged.

I thought as a married woman, with people she was openly and obviously in a relationship with, and not drinking alcohol, I was safe. I wasn't
Sir explained that he had seen it happen many times that some people put drugs in other people's drinks because they think its funny to watch them afterward - not necessarily to date rape them.

I share this story because its scary to know someone is out there doing this to another woman...or man.

The following is an article for teens, but it pertains to all people. I wasn't date-raped but I do sympathize with one of the girls interviewed, Jada, who was drinking water and thought because it wasn't an alcoholic beverage there was no need to watch it.
What it Feels Like to be Drugged

My plea to all people going out - be careful. Watch your drinks, watch your friends - be clear of the warning signs of someone who has been drugged. That's what kept me from getting hurt is the care and awareness of my loved ones.

P.s. Roofie jokes are no longer funny

New Toys and their Anime counterparts

Eden Fantasys has two new glass toys that reminded me of two of my favorite anime characters -

Jupiter and Neptune from SSA Glass

clone it

In case you haven't picked up what anime characters I'm talking about yet, it is Sailor Jupiter and Sailor Neptune from the anime series Sailor Moon. 

I felt Neptune was particularly appropriate not only in color but also in that it was an anal plug...seeing as her girlfriend is Sailor Uranus...sorry, very punny, I know. 

My First Toy Buy - Advice

I've been seeing a lot of posts online asking about what people would recommend for a first toy, what your favorite toy is, what is the best toy for a couple, etc.
So many questions and when asked together, I liked to focus in on the first part - the toys recommended for a first time sex toy buyer.

What Gets You Off?
One of the biggest questions when it comes to buying a toy is being honest with yourself about what really gets you off? What makes you orgasm?
Do you prefer clitoral stimulation? Does it take a light touch or do you need it rough? Does it take a long time or are you quick to come?
Do you need penetration? Do you prefer girth or length or do you need both? Does too much texture make you uncomfortable or do you like ridges?
Are you in tune with your body?
Do you get uncomfortable when considering keeping something overtly sexual in the house or is kinky, raunchy, yumminess ok with you?

If you need penetration but the idea of keeping something that looks like a disembodied dick laying around the bedroom makes you squirm you might want to look at something a little more inconspicuous.
Same with if you need clitoral stimulation but it only takes a light brush to get you going, a really strong vibrator might not be the most comfortable.

I know it's a lot to think about, however, the answers to these questions will help you dial into what toy is most likely to make your body sing.


Quality
Once you figure out what gets you off, safety and quality are the next things to consider.
There are certain materials that are safer than others. The safest materials include silicone, stainless steel, polymer coated wood, pthalate-free plastic, etc. The grading of safety for sex toys is based on a few properties of the material. These properties including chemicals in the material, how porous it is, and sterility or ability to clean it thoroughly and easily.

Chemicals such as pthalates in materials are good to avoid as they are potential carcinogens, which can cause cancer. When it comes to chemicals like this, it is better safe than sorry.
How porous the material is effects whether or not it can be thoroughly cleaned and if the material will hold onto bacteria. Porous materials include rubber, fabric like leather and nylon, and similar. Non-porous materials include glass, stainless steel, and
Sterilizing toys is important, especially if the toy is going to be shared between people or if it will be used both vaginally and anally. Some toys, like jelly, cannot be sterilized without being destroyed so if it is going to shared a condom must be used.

Quality isn't just about the toys but also about the store they are purchased from.
Some stores are known for their quality not only in product but also in pricing, shipping and customer care.
Online stores that are easy to navigate, offer information about the toys and brands that they sell, have customer reviews available, and quickly answer customer questions by e-mail or chat are good indicators of a great store. Also, if you are living with others or simply don't want the mail man knowing what you've ordered, avoiding stores that do not offer discrete shipping is a must.
The same goes for offline stores in their customer care and appearance. If the store feels sleazy  the workers are obviously uncared or if they simply seem to have no knowledge at all of the products, it will create an uncomfortable shopping environment that doesn't appeal to the customer's needs.

Technology
Buying your first toy in the age of technology can be a little overwhelming, especially if you're not technologically inclined. My best advice is when perusing the world of toys with buttons, cords or cordless, accessories and more is the KISS method, Keep It Simple Stupid.
When choosing a first toy, it might be best to go with a simple bullet rather than a Hitachi wand all of its attachables.  Too much going on with a toy can make for a frustrating time when all you want to do is relax and get off.

Budget
After figuring out what sort of toy you are after and have found options made with body-safe materials, money comes into play. Toys can range from $5 to $200 depending on brand, material, technology, and more.
When starting out, I would recommend keeping your budget low until you have pinpointed what you like then splurging for a larger buy when you've become a more seasoned sex toy buyer.

My Recommendations
Disclaimer for Recommendations:
The following toys are almost exclusively chosen for women. This is because I am a woman and have very little knowledge of men's toys and what would be recommended at the beginning stages of buying toys.
Also, if a toy you are looking at is not on this list, that does not mean that it is not a good buy for you. All choices for this recommendation are colored greatly by my own opinion.
The following toys are from Eden Fantasys, a store that offers discreet shipping, great customer service, and in-depth reviews.

Dildos
The Sweet Candy Cane is a smooth, glass dildo with a fun shape that will not look overtly sexual on your night stand. This glass dildo falls into the lower price bracket at $25.
Riley is a silicone dildo that is slender for those who aren't ready for much girth but a curved, bulbous head that is perfect for G-spot stimulation. This one has a medium price range of $45.
Classic Aluminum, while more expensive than the other insertables mentioned here, is on the cheaper end of the price range when it comes to metal toys at $90. The smooth body with graduating curves is a great way to figure out how you feel about texture in dildo shape.

Vibrators
When it comes to a basic bullet vibrator, my favorite is the Tantus Original Bullet Vibe. It is a strong vibrator with very little noise and small enough to store anywhere secretly. It is also easy on the budget at $25
The Doc Johnson Janine vibrator is a larger vibe that can be used easily as an insertable as well as for clitoral stimulation. My girlfriend enjoys this vibrator a great deal and is her go-to for multiple orgasms. This vibe is also very low on the price scale at $11
The Nestlin Bunny is a great choice for a rabbit vibe in that it is can easily conform to your insertion needs as well as still holds true to the traditional rabbit look and strength. It is a little higher on the price range at $28.

Anal Toys
The Crystal premium small plug is a glass butt plug is tiny and light weight which is perfect for beginners. The cost of this starting point is also small at $17.
The Silicone X-10 anal beads are made with body-safe silicone and graduate from tiny beads to large 3 inch balls. The handle is also perfect for removal. The price range is also great at $12.

Card Games: Fusxion Adult Playing Cards

Fusxion Adult Playing Cards feature "Hard Core Action" with "Gorgeous Girls" and "Filthy Sex."

My girlfriend, PunkyPup, brought these home from her new job at Castle adult novelty store. They were free and we thought it would be fun to play with them.
I have to say, the scenes one the cards are very distracting and would probably not be the best to pull out during a poker game that require concentration.

These are not your average Playboy playing cards with pin up girls. Each card features up-close and personal action with no pixilation, black bars, or any other form of censoring.
The cards show almost every form of raunchy sex with the exception of more obscure fetishes. There's anal, threesomes, lesbians, toy usage, even anal gaping and bukkake.

The only thing missing and, what I consider a low point to the cards, is male on male sex or transgender sex. However, maybe that is just me being greedy.

The other downside to the cards is that they are flimsy. A better card stock would have been preferred especially if you're handling these cards with sticky fingers.

In all I give the cards a 3 out of 5. Great scenes even if they don't offer a show for people of all sexualities or sexual interests and if they had been better made on nicer stock I would have given them a higher score.
My girlfriend said that 3 out of 5 was generous as she felt the flimsiness of the cards was a MAJOR downside to a point she didn't think that they would last longer than 1 night of...card games.

Don't Judge My Friends Because of Me...

You ever hear of a person being judged by the people they associate with?
Well, how about judging people I associate with because of the fact that I have associated with them?

This happened to me recently.
I in the past have spoken to and scene'd with a girl who I will not name for the sake of keeping this post as nice as possible but will call KD. This girl is nice enough but I no longer associate with her because of some situations I have been put in because of her, her tendency to cling, and the fact that despite my being very clear that I have no intentions to have another woman in my life and only look to have BDSM scene relations has taken my interest as a Domme as being interests in a perspective partner.

I later had two dear friends of mine come to me and mention KD and hanging out with her. I didn't say anything about her in a negative way as I'm sure that many people could hang out with KD without becoming enmeshed in a situation like I was.
Unfortunately, KD began to turn her interests onto them and again become clingy and not listening to their explanations of non-interest. When they brought this to me and followed this up with the fact that the only reason they began hanging out with her was because she and I were friends - and gave me the compliment of being a great judge of character - I became worried.

So here is my DISCLAIMER
Just because I associate with, become friends with, or even scene with a person does not mean that I have proven that they are in any way cleared for play with other friends of mine
I take NO RESPONSIBILITY for people you become friends with.
Just because I hang with someone does not mean they are not a crazy bitch, a sexual predator, an unsafe Dom/me, or any other issues. I hang with them because they said HI and have yet to show any of these tendencies to me.

I also want to admit that I am actually not a great judge of character.
I have been in abusive relationships with friends and boyfriends.
I have a bad tendency to see the potential for good in people and stick with them even when they abuse our relationship to a point that my own mental/emotional/physical health was at risk.

Does this mean that I don't think you should meet my friends and hang with them? Not at all
Just please don't think that just because I have a drink and hang with a person means that you can assume they are automatically cleared and are a great person to be with/have sex with/scene with/or whatever.

xoxo
Lady Phryxus

FoxFinder Party

February 9th private play party hosted by FoxFinder Productions for those attending the blood play and rope play studies with Jim Duval and PhoenixB was a fantastic get-together were the students of the class could give it ago what they had learned earlier that day, or see what they learned in action during a play session.

Sir, Punky Pup, and myself were not students at these classes so, unfortunately, I cannot give any sort of account at how they went. We, instead, were aids to Sarha and FoxFinder (hosts of the party) and helped set-up play equipment, make baked goods, and clean up. For me, just helping make the baked goods (cookies, cake, muffins, crumb-cake) was a lot of fun…but I’m odd like that…plus, I was already full from nibbling on everything by the time everyone arrived, lol.

There were around 30 people in attendance. The cabins where the party was hosted were a favorite of some of the attendees as they were the same used for the party hosting Lee Harrington back in December.
The party was DJ’d by AMC Entertainment. The music was a favorite of many of the attendees and Sir and I particularly loved the Goth them of most of the music played. The music set the stage perfectly for the play involved as well as allowed for people to hang out and talk on one side of the room without interfering with the play on the other side of the room. I really hope that music is utilized at later parties because of these benefits.

The dungeon equipment available varied from St. Andrew’s Cross to spanking benches to suspension rack, to a whipping post and, of course, simple chairs and a futon that was part of the cabin furnishings. I had the pleasure of witnessing multiple impact scenes, needle play, hook-pulling involving labia, fisting, and plastic-wrap mummification (and that’s just what I saw while running around talking to people and helping out).

I did participate in one scene with Sir Phryxus. We did knife-play on the horse bench in which Sir stripped me of my fish-nets. I don’t often participate in knife-play and I haven’t been able to truly submit at a play part for some time (usually due to too much going on around me), so the scene was very strong for me.
Not really sure what I’m gonna do with the torn up fishnets now, seems a shame to toss them…Maybe an art project…

My feet were dirty from running around barefoot

During the party I also did four tarot readings, which is neither here nor there as far as BDSM is concerned but I had a lot of fun doing them and I hope those that I read for enjoyed them.

Punky Pup thought the party was great. She loved that it was a smaller crowd than some of the parties we’ve attended and this allowed for more comfortable play. She too loved that there was music playing and felt that this made the party more fun.
Sir Phryxus also greatly enjoyed himself and the only thing he said he wished could have been different is that it could have lasted longer.

Also, pictures were allowed at this party (as you can see above) and as I gave permission for pictures to be taken of me, I would love to receive those photos. If you have a picture of me, please e-mail it to nekomimiloli (at) yahoo (dot) com. I would love to post them on here and my FetLife account and would be more than happy to give you photographer credit. Thanks.

xoxo
Lady Phryxus

Derby Girls are Sexy

My girlfriend is a Derby Dame, a Roller Girl, a Boom Town Hottie!

Last month our Punky Pup joined Boom Town Derby Dames in Wasilla, AK and became their Fresh Meat on her way to becoming one of their rollergirls.

I had heard of Roller Derby before, from a friend in Johnson City, TN who was on a team. I never gave it much thought until Pup came back from New York City for Christmas talking about buying skates, hip-checking, and spanks.

Sir, being oh-so-helpful, showed me some videos of roller derby. The videos were, of course, of the most gruesome bouts he could find that mostly involved what looked like WWE with girls on skates - because that extra weapon was what they needed.
With a little more than mild trepidation, I went to my first bout with Pup to watch Boom Town vs Denali Destroyer Dolls.
We had a blast. Hanging out with a group of what turned out to be a bunch of like-minded poly-people, we watched as the two teams skated like mad. It was a very close game with Boom Town winning by a mere 20 points, which, for Roller Derby, is really close.

I won't go into the nit-pickiness of Roller Derby (if you want more info, check out Derby 101 on the Boom Town site), instead I wanted to focus on how cute these girls are.
I'm quite serious. Not just my girlfriend, who is a hottie in her Derby Gear

Her derby name is SubMischievous

But these girls are athletes who aren't afraid of bumps, bruises, scrabes, busted-lips, aching ribs, and what not. They'll hip-check, shove, pull, and grab some ass on their way to the front of the pack. Plus, they were SPANKS!

Here is a sample of some of the gear and clothing from 2 n 1 Skate Shoppe here in Wasilla, AK where Pup bought her gear, run by local Derby Girls. The clothes are ADORABLE and look sexy as hell on some of these girls. I just wanna smack so much booty at Pup's practices I feel like such a perv, haha.

While this post is an update on the madness going on in our lives, it is also a warning, there will be lots of Derby nonsense to come for House Phryxus and there will be tid bits and spanks galore of it on the blog. Just a heads up.

xoxo
Lady Phryxus