Ex-Relationships and The Markings Left Behind

I have returned to my blog, re-read some of the posts, looked at my life now, and seen a number of changes in House Phryxus and with me.
I was tempted, as I re-read some past posts, to go back and edit out names of relationships that are no longer a part of my life. Make a clean slate of things as it were. The temptation was strong just like so many others who have loved and lost and wish they could erase the markings even after the ache in our hearts is gone. Much like a tattoo...this would require work.

I weighed things out and in the end I decided not to erase those names or delete those images here. Doing so would not eliminate the open space their absence has created. By switching names like PunkyPup (Pup) and Wolfy, who I am not longer with, to "my ex" or "my old girlfriend"...this only makes for more work and awkwardness in my life.

Erasing their names would also negate the lessons learned and impact they have had on me. By being in a relationship with all of my exes, not just those mentioned here, I have learned about myself, about my desires and boundaries, about where I want to be and who I want to be with. Considering that, I wouldn't change a thing about what has happened. By implementing this decision here, I hope that this blog will also grow, progress and evolve much like its writer.

Thank you, those of you who have touched my life and effected the House and this blog. May your name always be here.

Lady Phryxus

Just a giggle

Censorship Sucks

As many of you may know, Blogger has recently sent out a message to it's bloggers with adult content:

You are receiving this message because you are the admin of a blog hosted on Blogger which is identified to have Adult content.
Please be advised that on June 30th 2013, we will be updating our Content Policy to strictly prohibit the monetization of Adult content on Blogger. After June 30th 2013, we will be enforcing this policy and will remove blogs which are adult in nature and are displaying advertisements to adult websites.
If your adult blog currently has advertisements which are adult in nature, you should remove them as soon as possible as to avoid any potential Terms of Service violation and/or content removals.
Sincerely, 
The Blogger Team

In response, I have removed my ads to my affiliate programs...as you can see.
If I was in an affiliate program with you, I am sorry that your ad is removed, please send your aggravated remarks to Blogger/Google.

I know that I have options.
I could make House Phryxus a website, sadly the domain name House Phryxus .com is owned by my ex-girlfriend and I seriously doubt she'd give it back to me since we haven't spoken in over a month.
Also, that is a huge endeavor that is not free.

Another option is to move to a kink-friendly blog source that allows ads. Theses are few and far between and require a huge overhaul of the blog. I'm not saying the house blog isn't worth it but I currently do not have the time nor does any other member of House. If you want to volunteer your time for this, let me know, we will work something out in floggings.

My response to all of this, for now, is to simply take down the ads and keep writing. I hope you will keep reading. This does change my content in that I will no longer be doing free reviews for companies that require there be an ad for their company on my blog to send me a toy or book. I understand where they are coming from but can sadly not comply.  Other than that, there will be no other content changes.

Hope that this all works out in the end...

xoxo
Lady Phryxus

How am I doing?

I've been asked a lot lately, "How are you doing?"
I thought I would take the opportunity to answer now that I've had some time to think about it and about what to say without stirring the cauldron of drama and naming names maliciously.

Being hurt by someone I was once friends with is never easy nor is it ever taken lightly. Being made to question my own partnerships, my own personal image as to whether or not I am sexually attractive, and having my self esteem crushed was even harder to manage. I felt that just as I was able to climb out of that pit I was tripped into another one by a friend who pretended to care - even to the point that on the same day she left me high and dry, she showed concern over my well-being since I had just received news of a family member dying. Looking back on it, it would have been kinder for her to be honest in not giving a damn about me.

Honesty is something to value. Maturity is even better. By maturity, I mean that if a person has a problem or complication they have the gumption to speak to the person they have a problem with and at least give them a heads up that there is indeed a problem. Maturity is not shown by pretending that everything is ok then running away from the situation first chance available.

I've not been entirely sure how to handle the situation as far as the community goes. I made those closest to me, my House, and a few other friends aware of the situation. I knew there would be questions and even backlash.
As we moved in with DeviousKitty (Rika Phryxus) and Smacks Her Ass, and as I focused on work at the local renaissance faire, I tried not to think too much about what had happened or what would be said.

Problems with people in a community, even one as small as ours, can be very difficult to manage.
Not only am I trying not to deal with turmoil from this situation but there are others that my family is trying to navigate around conscientiously.

When knowledge of a woman in the community who has an STI and a friend is now having to get tested because her ex contracted it while cheating on her comes up...it's hard to figure out how to handle that with the delicacy necessary. In the end, I can only make those in my House aware to ensure their health and safety and hope that the community practices the safety and health practices we preach so often online.

It is the same when a known rapist, who sadly, due to how our court system is managed, only received a misdemeanor, is part of the community. As a survivor of an unconvicted rapist, it makes me angry...nauseated that there is one in this community as well as the one I came from. Yet again, however, the most I can do is warn those closest then hope that the community will take care of themselves and each other.

Sadly, it doesn't seem that every community has the desire to care and take care. Many communities are ripped apart over rumors, petty differences, libel, break-ups in relationships, and in some cases out-right lies and disrespect. I've seen it so many times. It is very saddening to me. The Kink and BDSM community world-wide is so small...not to mention smaller factions such as age play and leather. To have them divided when they should stand together in solidarity is, again, sad.

Sir and I and House Phryxus are having fun running a few small events and coffees sporadically. We were asked, before we started, is there anyone we don't want at our events. We said, we don't want anyone that isn't safe (thus the vetting process of making sure that attendees are not convicted rapists or known for harming another person without consent). Outside of the safety precaution, and any age limitations that might be made due to the type of event (TNG groups are 18-39) then everyone is welcome.
I remarked, "Just because I don't like someone personally doesn't mean they cannot attend and hang out with friends. They can go to the events, I just won't be inviting them to my birthday party."

In the end though, to answer your question of How I'm Doing...
I'm ok. I have a husband who is doing his best to take care of me. I have a girlfriend who's chivalry and gallantry over the last 9 or so days would make any girl feel spoiled and happy. I have an amazing lil sis and her Daddy who are the best friends anyone could ask for. I have a support network of those closest to me in the community that I love dearly.
To all the members of House Phryxus
To the Fox Den
To Althena, ShibariPyro, RedWarrior
To Glacier's Edge Pack
Thank you all from the bottom of my heart

Lady Phryxus

Ye Olde Kinky Knights and Wild Wenches

Spending my weekends at the Three Barons' Renaissance Faire in Anchorage (June 1st-2nd, 8th-9th)

Last weekend I spent my time reading tarot cards, watching festivities, flirting with men (and a woman) in kilts, and even making an order for a formal chain for my beloved Wolfy. Her formal chaining is coming up!

Wolfy's armor freshly painted

This coming weekend is the Fairy Tale weekend. I'll be traipsing about and reading cards dressed as the adorably seductive Little Red Riding Hood while my knight in dark armor, Wolfy, will be wenching women of the Red Court and harking louder than any other person at the faire.

Also tomorrow is the Community Yard Sale and Lemonade 4 Love stand for Pride week! All the while, we are still preparing for Northern Exposure G4 the following weekend! So much excitement, I can't contain myself!

If you can't make it to the faire or live too far away to attend an in-person tarot reading with me...check out my other site - North Star Attunement and see my Shop for a list of available readings online.

Chained to Me

I finished up my work for the day to get online and see this picture from my beloved girlfriend, Sinister Wolfy, on FetLife with the caption:

If She Will Have Me

I immediately began blushing and was wonderfully flustered. She and I have been talking for a little while now about what it would mean for her to be chained. This is similar to a collared D/s relationship, however, since Sinister is a Wolf and has the same wildness as the animal, I cannot bear to have her turn into some house pet.

I'll have Wolfy help me write up a little about what it means to have a chained wolf later. For now, I simply wanted ot share my excitement.

If you couldn't guess, I said YES!

LELO Ogden 2 - review

LELO Oden 2

When my friend Alaskanson offered to let me try out the LELO Oden 2, I was as giddy as a school girl. Lelo makes some of the best toys in the industry and their innovations have been remarked upon by many of my fellow reviewers and friends.

I first saw this to at a BDSM coffee. A friend of mine had the controller and offered it to me to play with. I had no idea what the vibrator looked like but I could see the reactions on his girlfriend's face as a group of us proceeded to play table hockey with the remote control. She was certainly having a tortured yet pleasurable time.

Lelo Toy Shop describes the Oden 2 thus:

Oden™ 2 Design Edition is the upgraded version of the world’s most advanced couples’ ring, designed for men to wear when making love. Like its predecessor, Oden™ 2 features an industry-first SenseMotion™ remote control, allowing you to change vibrations with a tilt of your hand - now with a 3X greater wireless range and a 50% stronger motor for more intense sensations. The fully-waterproof and rechargeable design now also offers the option to play without remote and comes with a new additional closed-ring attachment of flexible silicone, to offer increased presence and stamina for him and intense pleasures for her.

I like the caption "For Men To Wear When Making Love"
and would like to add -
or masturbating or for your favorite dildo or...

Eden Fantasys praises the Oden 2:

The Lelo Oden 2 is a fantastic example of using new technology to bring pleasure and ease of use into the bedroom. The quality of the build, the effectiveness of the toy, and the intuitive controls all combine to make an excellently conceived and constructed toy for couples or individuals to use.

I have to agree with the excellence in the Oden 2 conception and construction.

It's like those boxes expensive jewelry comes it! So pretty!

The Toy Box

The Lelo Oden 2 comes in a beautiful box that holds all of its parts like strange jewelry. The toy comes with two attachments  the vibrator, wireless remote control, manual, lube, warranty, a tool to open the remote for battery change, and a pin with the Insignia logo.

The logo pin is adorable. It makes me think of a pin that one would wear when entering a secret club. I would imagine that it is worn to signal the fact that the wearer has the Oden 2 on them, and only those who have the same toy would recognize. It's like secret exhibitionism.

The sample of lube is the same as the Lelo personal moisturizer I reviewed previously, complete with pictures of my feet for those foot fetishists out there.

The Oden 2 warranty is for 1 year and also has a 10 year quality guarantee. Both it and the manual are little booklets that fit in a space under the toy box and are printed in several languages including English, German, Swedish, Spanish, and Russian. The manual, along with tips and instructions, is also illustrated for ease of use.

The entirety could be kept in the pretty box or be slipped into the included silky bag to keep dark and discreet in a purse or toy drawer.

Such a sleek look and velvety-soft!

The Oden 2

This toy is very basically a vibrating cock-ring. However, there is nothing basic about this high-tech sex gear! The vibrator and ring are made of body-safe silicone that is velvety-smooth to the touch.

Then there is the Sense Motion wireless remote control. The controller with the Oden 2 is what sets it apart from the original Oden.
Erotic Toy Town says of the Oden's remote control use:
No fumbling in the dark when you want a bit more power, just move your remote and enjoy the ride.

The sequel has 3x the wireless range than its predecessor  a great advancement for partners wanting to really tease their significant other.

The vibration alone is quiet, strong and can be felt through the ring marvelously!

Distance and Discretion

When we brought the Oden 2 home, I slide the vibrator in my panties and watched as Sir Phryxus shook the remote, walked around the room with it then promptly left the room, shut the door and tested the range of the wireless remote. He can use it in any room of the apartment and the signal is as strong as it is when he's sitting next to me.

The next test was to see how noticeable it would be if I wore it in public. While it was in my panties, pressed solidly against my clitoris and the remote safely in Sir's pocket, he and I headed to Anchorage to have coffee at Modern Dwellers with local kinksters.

We picked up my girlfriend, Wolfy, after five orgasms on the trip between Wasilla and Anchorage. I hugged her tightly and we let her guess why in the world I would look blushed and flustered. She could not hear the vibrator and if it wasn't for the sanguine look on my face, she would never have guessed I had a vibrator rumbling between my legs.

When Sir told Wolfy what was going on, they proceeded to play a game of catch with the remote that left me squirming. They at least took pity on me and allowed me to leave the vibrator and remote in the car during coffee. By that point I had delightfully suffered six orgasms and not sure how quiet I could be about a seventh.

Lelo Oden 2 on my big purple cock

For Couples' Use

The Oden 2 Insignia Uner Manual states:

Oden 2 is often most enjoyable with the vibrating pleasure point worn upwards to stmulate the clitoris when the woman is on top, or rotated downwards and facing the testicles for extra stimulation...Oden 2 also makes an amazing addition to foreplay.

The first base attachment is an open loop that is meant to be slid around the erect penis with the pleasure point (the vibrator) facing out.

The second base attachment is a closed ring that "offers greater constriction." The manual instructs to stretch the ring around the erect penis and wear above the scrotum or below. Upon closer examination of how far this ring stretches, there is no way possible for us to stretch the ring around both Sir's penis and scrotum without hurting him badly. His balls just won't fit that tiny ring.

We felt that the open ring would better fit an erect penis and scrotum and are still curious why that wasn't recommended instead.

During sex, the vibration is not only strong against the Oden 2 but can also be felt through the penis and into the vagina during penetration. This was a pleasant surprise that was easily replicated with use on a dildo.

Muwahahaha! I have the control!

Sir Phryxus Reviews

My husband, Sir Phryxus, used this toy with me enthusiastically. He too had played with the remote control of our friend's toy and had been talking about using this toy on me for some time now like a threat that we both were salivating over.

We've used cock-rings together before, and have had hit and miss on them as Sir has a decently sized penis with considerable girth. This one was also hit and miss.

While the open styled ring was comfortable enough for Sir to wear the Oden 2 while playing video games and just messing around on the computer, the closed ring was a very different story. The ring is supposed to be large enough to stretch over both penis and scrotum, however, while it was only on Sir's penis, it was tight enough to cut of circulation very quickly.

This toy as a closed cock ring is not for big boys!

He did enjoy the vibrational settings and felt very comfortable wearing it and positioning it during sex.

Is your cock in an open or closed relationship with the Oden 2?

The Oden 2 comes with other attachments available for separate order. These are the Lyla 2, which turns the Oden into a kegel exerciser with an extraction cord, and the Tiana 2 that allows the woman to wear the Oden during sex similarly to the We-Vibe.

Final Thoughts

I give the Oden 2 from Lelo a 4 out of 5 stars! The only negative aspects is that the closed ring isn't stretchy or comfortable enough for Sir to wear without cutting off circulation, however the open ring was comfortable and the toy so fun we couldn't count this one negative thing against them too strongly.

I love this toy as a wear-in-panties discreet vibrator to play with in a secretly exhibitionist sort of way!